What Not Working Feels Like

As mentioned earlier, I am taking six months off work. After 21 years of employment at a well-known coffee company, I’m taking advantage of a benefit offered by the company. In short, I’m taking six months off work without pay and returning to essentially the same job I have now.
As it turns out, the company I work for is going through some difficult times; many people I have known for years have lost their jobs in the last few months. So there is a lot of uncertainty and anxiety about the future, which makes this an interesting time not to be there. On the one hand, I’m happy to be out of what had become a very challenging environment in which to work happily. But…not being there to support others and try to contribute is difficult – not to mention that because of the situation the company is in, it’s not at all clear what might be going on when I return.

Overall, though, this is a great time to be away; I was ready for a break and there are few better places to spend a summer than Seattle. Because this is an opportunity many never get, people are curious about it. Lots of people ask me what I’m ‘doing,’ as if keeping busy is either a) important or b) difficult. The quickest good answer I have is that I have quickly become really involved in my life, and it is really fun.

I’m not a workaholic; my habit is to arrive at the office just before 8:00 and leave just after 5:00. But…when one works at the same place for 21 years, especially a place where high emotional involvement with co-workers and the company, work can easily become something close to all-consuming. When you’re not at work, you think about work; the more you care, the more you think about it…and when things aren’t going particularly well, it’s a recipe for lots of angst. So while living that way doesn’t sound like much fun and is a bit self-indulgent, it’s a way of life that’s terribly easy to get used to.

Thankfully, it was easier than I thought it would be to leave the angst behind. One reason for this is that I actually am really busy—but it’s not the kind of busyness that comes from over-scheduling or even trying to keep busy. I consciously prepared for the time off work, and decided (with the help of a Life Coach!) to focus the summer on just enjoying the family and establishing some new habits and patterns—routine stuff like exercise, cooking, reading, grocery shopping and consciously doing nothing at times. These routines use up quite a bit of time, and I've found that approaching them intentionally (seeing them as opportunities to learn or have fun rather than as a nuisance) adds texture and meaning to each day. Taking more time to cook a simple meal, for example, is a very pure form of fun for me, and it increases the enjoyment of the food. Working in the yard is great exercise and has already affected the way I think about and value different types of work.

Learning to value these things as part of life rather than necessities that exist on the periphery (or as someone else’s responsibility) is a great lesson. And it’s a lesson that will inform the second part of my time away, which is more about the future, beginning when the kids go back to school in a couple of weeks. (Though it is apparent that the yard work will continue well into 2009.)